The rules of attraction

It’s Valentines Day today. A day where people can show their love and commitment to their significant other or reveal their romantic interest in someone they have set their hearts on.

This got me thinking about how attraction works between two people. How do we make ourselves more attractive to others? What traits do we look for in a potential partner?

When we find that person we like, how do we create that attraction and spark that will hopefully lead to romance and a relationship? This led me to consider how the rules of attraction in the dating game can be applied to how we attract people to the content we create.

Creating a connection

Just like on a first date, you want to create a connection with your readers.

Find out what kind of content they like. You can do this through tools like Google Analytics which can track the number of page views and engagement for certain topics that your business is writing about. When you know what topics appeal to your readers, you will know how to engage with them better.

How you talk about a topic can determine the type of connection you create with people. On a date with two people who don’t know each other well or just generally in life, we resort to typical default questions when we meet people:

What do you do? Where do you live? Where did you grow up?

There’s nothing wrong with asking people such questions but many dating experts say, you don’t necessarily create a great connection with people.

How about asking someone:

“What is it about your job which gives you the most satisfaction or joy?”


“If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?”

Such questions help create more connection as you find out things about people and their personalities you wouldn’t necessarily find with more standard questions.

When writing and creating content, we can employ similar techniques. Writing about a product or service your business provides might be useful but won’t always create a connection.

Approaching a topic from a slightly different angle or view like our questions above can do this. We can also personalise our content by talking about our own thoughts, feelings and experiences. This will help your audience get to know you better.

What are your core values?

What values are important to you? What do you stand for in terms of your beliefs and how you conduct yourself?

These questions are just as important to people seeking a meaningful long term relationship as it is in business and marketing.

Don’t be afraid to be yourself. In the world of dating, people sometimes make the mistake of trying too hard to please the person they desire.

Agreeing with everything your date says in order to avoid any controversy can create a bland experience.

It’s the same in producing content. Don’t be afraid to challenge your audience, to disagree with some of their beliefs. Having strong opinions and values means you won’t always attract everyone, but you want to attract people who are really into you.

Your values and beliefs may not be ‘everyone’s cup of tea’ but that shouldn’t be an issue. It’s not about being all things to all people. It’s about being attractive to to those people you want to attract.

I’ve always thought that national newspapers provide great examples of publications that are brilliant at understanding their audiences.

In the UK, each paper (depending on their political leanings) report on news stories that fit in with the world view and values of their audience. They know what makes their readers tick. In response their readers are attracted to specific newspapers because they believe those papers represent their own values and world view.

Great marketing is about truly knowing and understanding who your audience is but also knowing exactly who you are. It’s the same in the world of dating.

Having a clear idea of who you are in terms of your values helps you have a better understanding of what you are looking for and will hopefully attract the people you want to be attracted to you.

Make your reader feel special

We all want to spend time with people whose company we enjoy and this is certainly true with dating. Nobody is going to go on a second or third date with someone if they didn’t enjoy their first date experience.

One of the key elements to a first date, is to convince your date that it’s worth meeting again. That’s more likely to happen, if they feel a spark, attraction or connection. Was the date interesting and memorable (was it a safe coffee date or something more creative and out there?).

Many dating experts tell us we should compliment our dates. ‘You have a lovely smile’…’I love how passionate you become when you talk about x, y or z’ ‘I really like your dress, shirt, jacket etc . I’m sure you get the idea.

We also want to make our readers feel special. We can do this by giving them content that’s really useful, valuable and provides meaning to their business and their overall lives. We’re telling our audience that they are special to us which is why we’re giving them this great content.

So there you have it. Who would have thought that writing and content strategy could be so similar to the world of dating!! It’s all about creating that connection. Creating content and building a brand around that content that your audience is attracted to and wants to be associated with.

Happy Valentines day everyone!